When I travel

When I travel

Travel. Travelling is the most exciting and fun thing to do. But when you travel more and more, it becomes more like a sad episode in a mega serial. I am going to talk about two unforgettable incidents that happen when I travelled.

I travel regularly to my home town on weekends to visit my daughter. I usually take the 9.00 pm bus which starts from Egmore.

So, on one Friday, as usual, I reached the bus office on Egmore an hour prior to the departure time. I got my tickets and was seated in a corner.

To while away one hour of waiting time, I pulled out an elite fashion magazine and started reading.

Even though I don’t understand a single word in the magazine, I browse the pages and drool upon the anorexic models in their gorgeous outfits. The advantage of reading an elite magazine like VOGUE, it makes other people to think that u r an upper class woman. So they will try to strike up some conversation in English however good or bad it is.

- Maam, where washrooms.

- Madam, where hotel.

Phew!!!

 The heights of it was when a guy came and asked me

-          Hey, Is that a vogue u r reading. Please suggest a good accessory I can buy for my girl from this book.

I thought to myself “Man, if you are too rich to present something from this book, (pause) then please marry me”.

But I calmly replied “Diamonds are a woman’s best friend”.  He believed it was a brilliant idea and went on to sit in the other corner of the waiting area.

I continued to turn the pages of the magazine when I heard a very sweet voice which called me “Excuse me”. I lifted my head to see a young chap standing with a refulgent smile. He was a very handsome fellow just like the guys you would watch in all those AXE deodorant ads. I was totally perplexed with his looks. But my happiness didn’t last long.

With the T-shirt he was wearing, I understood why he approached me. The T-shirt had this brand called “Herbalife” inscribed on it. For the benefit of thin people, I will tell you what Herbalife is all about as it is being endorsed to only obese people. Herbalife offers diet plans and food supplements for weight loss programme. It is very expensive stuff.

This young man is a Herbalife representative and he is taking the same bus to Madurai. He has approached me to sell his product. He said “Are you in interested in weight loss ma’am?”

I went red with embarrassment. Apart from all the people waiting there, how dare this man come to me and ask this question so loudly.

 I looked up at him and said “No. I am not interested in weight loss. Please don’t disturb me”.  

With a tinge of disappointment in his voice, he pulled out his visiting card and said “Maam, kindly take my card and give me a call when you are free”. Why would I call him and talk about my weight problems. May be I would have considered calling him if he had promised a dinner date. Hmm.

He said this and took a seat opposite to me. He was also waiting for the 9:00 PM bus. I turned to the left side and was avoiding any eye sight from him. But back in my head I was dancing for this song “valaiyosai kalakalavena….” with him.

My chariots of dreams got shattered due to the announcement to board the bus. I got into the bus and settled in my berth. The bus started and stopped at Guindy for the passengers to get in. A 70+ years old lady, a loud lady, boarded the bus. She was accompanied by her teenager great grandson who was too embarrassed to stand beside her. The lady came to my seat and was shouting that I have occupied her seat and I should get out. I was blinking. I knew I got into the right bus and am in the correct seat.

The bus conductor came running. Now, most of the co passengers were looking at us. Being somebody who cried in all the Karan Johar movies, I was not able to control my tears and started crying. The bus conductor demanded for our tickets and after looking keenly for a couple of minutes, he said to that lady “Ada erangu ma. You boarded the wrong bus.” The entire bus burst into laughter. The family got down and I spent rest of the journey praying god to spare me of any more embarrassment.