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Friday, March 5, 2010

Normal - A single word with multiple definitons

I got to read the novel " Winner Stands Alone" by Paulo Coelho. People who have already read the book would not be intersted in reading this again. These were the different views about "what Normal life is". I found it interesting and just wanna share it.

Normal is:

1. Anything that makes us forget who we are and what we want; that way we can work in order to produce, reproduce, and earn money.

2. Setting out rules for waging war (the Geneva Convention).

3. Spending years studying at university only to find out at the end of it all that you're unemployable.

4. Working from nine till five every day at something that gives you no pleasure just so that, after thirty years, you can retire.

5. Retiring and discovering that you no longer have enough energy to enjoy life and dying a few years out of sheer boredom.

6. Using Botox.

7. Believing that power is much more important than money and that money is much more important than happiness.

8. Making fun of anyone who seeks happiness rather than money and accusing them of "lacking ambition"

9. Comparing objects like cars, houses, clothes, and defining life according to those comparisons, instead of trying to discover the real reason for being alive.

10. Never talking to strangers. Saying nasty things about the neighbors.

11. Believing that your parents are always right.

12. Getting married, having children, and staying together long after all love has died, saying that it's for the good of the children (who are, apparently, deaf to the constant rows).

12a. Criticizing anyone who tries to be different.

14. Waking up each morning to a hysterical alarm clock on the bedside table.

15. Believing absolutely everything that appears in print.

16. Wearing a scrap of colored cloth around your neck, even though it serves no useful purpose, but which answers to the name of "tie"

17. Never asking a direct question, even though the other person can guess what it is you want to know.

18. Keeping a smile on your lips even when you're on the verge of tears. Feeling sorry for those who show their feelings.

19. Believing that art is either worth a fortune or worth nothing at all.

20. Despising anything that was easy to achieve because if no sacrifice was involved, it obviously isn't worth having.

21. Following fashion trends, however ridiculous or uncomfortable.

22. Believing that all famous people have tons of money saved up.

23. Investing a lot of time and money in external beauty and caring little about internal beauty.

24. Using every means possible to show that, although you're just an ordinary human being, you're far above other mortals.

25. Never looking anyone in the eye when you're traveling on public transport, in case it's interpreted as a sign that you're trying to get off with them.

26. Standing facing the door in an elevator and pretending you're the only person there, no matter how crowded it is.

27. Never laughing too loudly in a restaurant no matter how good the joke.

28. In the northern hemisphere, always dressing according to the season: bare arms in spring (however cold it is) and woolen jacket in winter (however hot it is).

29. In the southern hemisphere, covering the Christmas tree with fake snow even though winter has nothing to do with the birth of Christ.

30. Assuming, as you grow older, that you're the guardian of the world's wisdom, even if you haven't necessarily lived enough to know what's right and wrong.

31. Going to a charity tea party and thinking that you've done your bit toward putting an end to social inequity in the world.

32. Eating three times a day even if you're not hungry.

33. Believing that other people are always better than you--better-looking, more capable, richer, more intelligent--and that it's very dangerous to step outside your own limits, so it's best to do nothing.

34. Using your car as a weapon and impenetrable armor.

35. Swearing when in heavy traffic.

36. Believing everything your child does wrong is entirely down to the company he or she keeps.

37. Marrying the first person who offers you a decent position in society. Love can wait.

38. Always saying, "I tried" when you didn't really try at all.

39. Postponing doing the really interesting things in life for later, when you don't have the energy.

40. Avoiding depression with large daily doses of television.

41. Believing that you can be sure of everything you've achieved.

42. Assuming that women don't like football and that men aren't intersted in home decorating and cooking.

43. Blaming the government for all the bad things that happen.

44. Thinking that being a good, decent, respectable person will mean that others will see you as weak, vulnerable, and easy to manipulate.

45. Being equally convinced that aggression and rudeness are synonymous with having a "powerful personality"

46. Being afraid of having an endoscopy (if you're a man) and giving birth (if you're a woman).

A SALTY LOVE STORY

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing
after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.

They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything,
she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home. suddenly he asked the waiter: "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee"

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put
the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously : why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near
the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea ,just
like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I
always think of my childhood, think of my home town, I miss my home town so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.

That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can
tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about
home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her far away hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who
meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him!Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess
married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...

And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the
coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it. After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said:" My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee.
Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt it was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication!

I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too
afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the
salty coffee, what a strange bad taste..But I have had the salty
coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".

Her tears made the letter totally wet.

Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee?

"It's sweet". She replied.

Funny English

English has become the language of choice and profession, in most parts of the world. A sound knowledge of the language and good communication skills, have become a passport for a good job to many people in Asian countries, where the outsourcing business has mushroomed to unforseen proportions. Today if you can speak good English, are above eighteen years of age, and have atleast completed high school, you can get a job in a B.P.O., that will fetch you atleast Rs 6000/- a month as salary.

Now coming back to the main subject, about which this post is all about-Funny Signboards.
All of us would have seen some funny signboards, and had a really good laugh, I am sharing some signboards that I have seen, read and laughed like crazy.

1-Ramu Snakes Bar-Do the snakes have a court of law, are they lawyers, or is it a bar where snakes sip gin and brandy.

2-Flat Toilet-How can a toilet be totally flat, people will have a hard time using it.

3-Wet Paint, Don't Shit-As if someone would want to shit on paint.

4-Child Bear Available-It should have been chilled beer.

5-Hare cutting done here-Is he a barber or a butcher.

All these are actual signboards, I do not intend to hurt anybody's feelings, but these are the small things that make India such a great place to live in, even though we might have a hundred problems within the country, such things make us laugh and forget our tensions.

The MAGIC OF 21


A current study reveals the "21 day habit theory" which states that to develop a habit, one has to practice it for 21 days. Be it in quiting smoking, drinking, going to gym, practicing yoga, waking up early, eating healthy, anything. For a start, when you feel too lazy to follow a habit just tell yourself (your conscious brain) that it is going to be just for 21 days. And finally at the end of 21 days, your neural pathways are already formed and you will more likely continue your new habit. Seeing the benefits of your new habit, your unconscious will want to continue it. This helps both in inculcating a habit or breaking a habit, as per your choice.

We all know we have conversations with ourselves, "should I go to the pub should I not", "should I go to the gym should I not". There are a hundred conversations we have within ourselves everyday.When we want to start something or give up something, your brain kicks in and thinks 'lack of' instead of the benefits of. To think of cutting bed coffee is a sin for most of us. Not to blame. The thinking pattern of the brain is yet so capricious that one doesn't have control over it. It can't really think as clearly about the benefits because it hasn't yet seen the benefits of the new habit. Change your thought; change your life.

So what habits can we start for 21 days?

I have made a list for myself that I am in the middle of doing.

* Give up sweets for 21 days

* Drink six glasses of water every morning in empty stomach (I've actually made this a habit now)

* Eat a fruit for 21 days

This is just a small list of the things I am doing. Feel free to share you 21-day new habits. Do your best.

Funny oxymorons (combined contradictory terms):



1. As i said before, i never repeat myself.
2. Clearly misunderstood
3. Exact estimate
4. Small crowd
5. Act naturally
6. Found missing
7. Fully empty
8. Rich enough
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And master of all:

Happily married!!!